My Nathan For You business idea of the day: Spinning with Sartre: a workout class where, instead of motivational platitudes, a chain-smoking French intellectual explains existentialism over increasingly ominous techno. Hell may be other people, but heaven is better glutes!

See also: Pilates with Plato, Burpees with Borges, deadlifts with Derrida, kettlebells with Kant, Zumba with Zarathustra, CrossFit with Confucius, stepping with Seneca. There’s a market here!